This Is Why The Fidget Spinner Toy Trend Is Going To Die!

Manufactured primarily in foreign countries, these trendy fidget toys are infused with a chemical only used in military products created for chemical warfare.

Fidget Spinner Hand Spinner toy
Fidget Spinner

The biggest trend since bell bottom jeans, fidget toys have taken America by surprise. Go outside and you will most likely see a fidget toy within an average radius of 27 feet. While most people believe it to be a harmless children toy, the reality is devastatingly more sinister. Manufactured primarily in foreign countries, these trendy toys are infused with a chemical only used in military products created for chemical warfare.

At first it was the fidget cube, one of the most popular Kickstarter projects of all time. The demand for these toys created a perfect opportunity for malicious terrorists to manufacture the most devious weapon since the 12.99 McDonald’s Happy Meal Toy the Nerf Flamethrower with fun grenade launching action.

This was not the first attempt to take down America from the inside. Back in 2006 the Oozinator was sold as one of the members of Hasbro’s super soakers. However what made the Oozinator different from other super soakers on the market was that is was filled with slime. Each Oozinator contained 10-ounce supply of “bio-ooze.” The main ingredient of bio-ooze? Unknown!

A Photo of an Oozinator Blaster
Oozinator

Parents were not happy seeing their children drench each other in an unknown substance and was shortly after discontinued.

What happened to all that bio-ooze you may ask? Well to answer this question we must turn to one man, Supreme Leader of North Korea, and fidget spinner enthusiast, Kim Jong Un.

“Fidget spinning is my third favorite activity next to eating and making love to my beautiful friend Hay Hay.” Un said on a FaceTime interview with CNN earlier this year.

Although Kim spends most of his time plotting world domination, he enjoys taking some time to relax. “Fidget spinning is my third favorite activity next to eating and making love to my beautiful friend Hay Hay.” Un said on a FaceTime interview with CNN earlier this year. Hay Hay, is Kim’s lover and pet goat.

Kim and his goat
Kim and his Lover Hay Hay

Unlike Kim’s personal fidget tri-spinner, which is a custom 24 karat sculpt with diamonds, the millions that Kim’s factuality produced is sculpted with the infamous bio-ooze. The same ooze that was banned from sale in early 2007. Although nobody has identified the RNA within bio-ooze, Kim is known to be a big advocate for recycling. Could Kim just be capitalizing on a trend and protecting the planet? Is this part of Kim’s plan of world domination? Or is he trying to keep up with a dying trend?

 

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