Tis the season of love.
The intimidation/indifference surrounding Valentine’s Day has always baffled me. The three
‘bad’ things that could possibly happen are… a. You have to make a conscious effort with your
partner, b. you receive a box of chocolates, c. you have an excuse to buy yourself a box of
chocolates… I’m not seeing an issue here. Before someone starts shaking their head and
saying that people should show their romantic partners that they care every day of the year are
living in a dream world.
Because… 1. Not everyone is Jack Pearson from This Is Us. 2. Were all too tired for that shit,
right? (side note: I’m currently single) 3. No one’s expecting you to rent a hot air balloon
this Valentine’s day (maybe) 4. I just realized I really like making lists ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
I’m digressing, because this article has nothing to do with couples and everything to do with you
singles out there on Valentine’s Day. I see you, and you best remember, I’m one of you.
1. Get used to the idea of dying alone
I know I have! This step is quite easy to follow. Ever since I got used to the fact that I’m dying
alone it’s definitely improved my quality of life. Maybe it will for you too!
2. Console yourself with chocolate
It’s extremely important to note that this step has never failed me throughout the course of my
life. True story. You best believe that chocolates mend the sorrow of a broken heart, the
jealousy of witnessing happy couples, and most importantly, boredom.
3. Die with single friends!
If you don’t have single friends, perhaps you can make some? But at least if your feeling lonely,
you and all of your other single friends can die alone together. Doesn’t that sound divine? Or at
least better than dying alone, by yourself.
4. Turn Valentines into Galentines!
Or Guyentines. Now that you’ve found a crew whose willing to live out the rest of their days with
you (alone), you can truly be part of the festivities by showing your platonic love for one another
through all the rituals that couples get to enjoy on Valentine’s. Take each other out for dinner,
eat too many chocolates, go catch a movie, or go dance the night away (or all of the above if
you have the stamina).
5. Watch a bunch of Rom-Coms
And not feel bad about being single, but celebrate your inner romantic. Which you get to do by
living vicariously through various protagonists romantic roller coaster rides that are guaranteed
to have a happy ending. Netflix can be your significant other this year (there’s no shame in that).
6. Try a dating app
If you feel like you want to more actively pursue a dating life, then go for it and start using a
dating app. Finding a date has never been easier! Or if you want to find someone without the
worry of meeting online creepers maybe ask a friend or family member to set you up on a date.
Just remember that the world is your romantic oyster, we all deserve love (even the platonic
love that Galentine’s offers), and that chocolate cures all emotional wounds. P.S. Valentines is
actually great because it’s an excuse to exchange chocolate amongst loved ones. Remember,
the true cliche is announcing how dumb you think Valentine’s day is.
Want to laugh this Valentine’s Day? Check out some of our work!