Nothing Cooler Than An Office Water Cooler

Water Cooler Employees Startup Office

The Different Types of Office Water Coolers

Similar to the animals of the African savannah, the members of an office flock to the one source of water they have in order to survive: the water cooler. Yes, this incredible invention has helped cubicle dwellers escape the monotony of work for a couple of minutes every day. Like ancient Greek philosophers, they huddle together and talk about important topics like last night’s episode of The Blacklist or Carol from accounting’s ugly sweater. The exchange of information flows like the water from the spout of the cooler, and everyone is given life only for a few minutes until their boss walks by and scares them away. But like the snowflake, no two water coolers are the same.

Big Office Building Water Cooler

This water cooler is replaced all the time due to a large number of people using it. Large cubicle farms in big office buildings require a lot of water in order to successfully nurture and grow a company. They also require a lot of sunlight, but that’s only reserved for the managers and CEO with the big offices. Sorry, Dave in HR, looks like your gonna have to wait for sunlight the next time you vacation in Miami. These water coolers are also bigger and sometimes have a hot water option in case you want to make coffee. Do people ever use the hot water option to make coffee? No, because this is the future and they can just use the Keurig machine in the break room for that.

A Startup Water Cooler

Sartup Fridge Craft Beer
Let’s sample the hoppiest IPA you’ve got, bro.

You’ll find that these water coolers aren’t used as much as the big office building ones. This is because there’s a smaller amount of workers who don’t drink water but instead hydrate themselves with kombucha and craft beers from the mini fridge. They’re stood in the corner, overlooked by all of the chalkboard wall graffiti and hipster artwork, waiting to be used by someone. The nervous interns may flee to the safety of the water cooler in order to escape any awkward encounters with their boss.

Doctor’s Office Water Cooler

These water coolers are used mainly by the patients who sit in the waiting room waiting for their appointments. Nervous patients can be seen pacing back and forth between their chair and the cooler, drinking excessive amounts of water in the hopes that it’ll calm them down. Nurses definitely don’t drink from the coolers because they always seem to have their own water bottles with them. Why is that? I do not know.

Back Office Of A Bar Water Cooler

That’s not water in there…