I Love All My Coworkers, With Two Glaring Exceptions.

Crazy Coworkers.

This has been the best summer of my life. I live in the greatest place on earth (New York City) with the coolest job ever (I work at a comedy club) and I am actually making good money! To top it all off I even like all of my coworkers, with two obvious exceptions.

On my first day the whole office joked around a lot, which is why I didn’t take anyone seriously when they warned me about Yogurt Ron and Trembling Susan. Those seem like things you say when you are making a joke. What does a name like Yogurt Ron mean? And how can you interact with someone called Trembling Susan? I would soon learn the answers: Trembling Susan is a pain to talk to, and Yogurt Ron is simply a Ron who loves yogurt.

My first couple weeks were a whirlwind- trying to learn how to be a good employee while also settling into my new home in the city. I got along very well with fellow interns James and John and Nice Tim. Everyone in the office gave great advice and we all had fun hanging out together, with the notable exceptions of Yogurt Ron and Trembling Susan.

The first time I met Yogurt Ron was in the breakroom. Yogurt Ron always hangs out in there, because the break room is the only place in the office where one is allowed to be constantly eating yogurt. This guy really goes at it, too. Yogurt Ron doesn’t just eat yogurt, he shoves it into his hateful face without regard for others. It is both inconsiderate and, frankly, pretty fucking gross to see someone eat that much yogurt.

Trembling Susan is our receptionist and I can’t really think of a worse job for someone who quivers like a vibrating phone at all hours of the day and night. Meetings are incredibly difficult, as Trembling Susan records notes which often take many hours to decipher. It is similarly impossible to communicate audibly with Trembling Susan, as her voice shakes incessantly, like she was talking from behind a fan.

Naturally, Yogurt Ron and Trembling Susan are the best of friends. I often walk in on them socializing in the breakroom, Susan trembling on a chair while Ron stands beside her and shovels yogurt down his filthy trap. Sometimes Ron will attempt to give Susan some of his yogurt. This always causes a huge mess, as whenever Susan is excited she begins to shake even faster than normal, making it impossible to cleanly feed her anything, especially yogurt.

All in all, I have had a wonderful last three months. It has been very eye-opening, both in terms of what I should expect when I graduate, and also in terms of how much I really don’t like Trembling Susan and Yogurt Ron. All my coworkers were great otherwise. I am glad to have been given the opportunity this summer to work with great people- except those two.