Getting a raise is is not as mysterious or impossible as many people make it out to be. But it does require a strategy.
You cannot just go into your boss’s office and wing it. It’s hard to know how to handle oneself when asking for a raise in a traditional 9-5 work environment, especially when you are a terrible employee who routinely makes large mistakes that others have to fix for you. Here is how to ask for a raise when you clearly aren’t worth it:
Before asking for a raise, always begin by evaluating your own performance. You want to determine the number that represents exactly how much you are worth to the company, even if this number is substantially lower than what you are already being paid. Remember, confidence is key. When you walk into your boss’s office, walk with confidence. When you ask for money that you have in no way earned or even remotely deserve, ask with confidence. Believe in yourself.
The biggest obstacle when asking for a raise that you are sincerely under qualified for will be your boss. Here are some things you should mention to your boss to convince him you are worth it:
- “I DON’T MESS UP AS MUCH AS PEOPLE SAY I DO, AND WHEN I DO MESS UP ONLY SOMETIMES DOES IT THREATEN THE EXISTENCE OF THE COMPANY”
-Dispel rumors that you are a living, breathing, train wreck of an employee by letting your boss know that people have overblown your worthlessness and even if they haven’t, only several times has a mistake you made stalled the entire company’s ability to do business.
- “I AM JUST AS QUALIFIED TO GET THIS RAISE AS MORE QUALIFIED PEOPLE”
-How does your boss decide who is worth paying more? By figuring out who is the most qualified for the raise, which means it is important to let your boss know you are worth just as much to the company as all the people who are worth significantly more to the company.
- OFFER A COMPLIMENT AND THEN SIT IN SILENCE UNTIL IT IS RETURNED
-Say “You’re the one who deserves a raise” and then refuse to speak until your boss says says this back to you.
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Example of twins getting a raise THREATEN TO FIRE YOUR BOSS UNLESS HE GIVES YOU A RAISE
-You don’t have the power to fire him, but he doesn’t know that. Doing this gives you the upper hand because now your boss is answering to you and he will do as you wish.
- BRING SNACKS
– You do not deserve a raise, and it will thus take quite a long time to convince your boss that you do deserve a raise. Bring snacks.
Finally, keep in mind that asking for a raise is not some sort of crazy negotiation between separate parties. Don’t sit across from one another as adversaries. Sit next to each other as two people, one boss and one criminally negligent employee. In the end, you’ll be happy you did.