In 2014 50 million Americans joined gyms but we’re still an obese nation. What if there was something else we could do than just go to a fitness center.
If a felon can get jacked from doing push-ups in his cell all day, you don’t need to pay hundreds of dollars for a trainer to tell you you’re great. Take a look at this video which analyzes five workout products for your home. Do you see how ridiculous this looks? If you want abs do crunches, if you want a butt go running and do squats. Watch any movie about barbarians from 2000 years ago, they’re all jacked! This just goes to show that even the earliest humans knew how to chisel their body without machines.
Under Armour, Nike, Adidas, even you Reebok, need to get people to start working out like in the good old days. This will be the ideal commercial. Why stay inside a gross sweaty gym, when you can wear some dope athletic gear and go punch some meat in a butcher shop! Need tighter abs? Get a soccer player to kick you in the abs while wearing Nike’s 2017 line of soccer cleats! Don’t pay 300 dollars to use the equinox pool with 10 other old people, put on Speedos top of the line bathing suit, jump into the east river and swim along the Manhattan coast.
If athletic apparel companies want more people to buy their goods, the companies need consumers to know that their clothing and equipment can withstand anything, not just a few weights and benches. Legend has it that Vince Lombardi, the great head coach of the Green Bay Packers, said that he never lifted weights but got all his muscle from throwing beef into loading trucks.
Maybe that’s what we need now-a-days, some of that old school spark. Today, Americans need all these gizmos and gadgets to work because otherwise we wouldn’t be “properly utilizing our muscle groups properly which can lead to atrophy.” Now if you don’t know what that sentence means, you’re not alone. It’s not hard to stay healthy and we shouldn’t let large gyms dictate how we train and what it considered effective. Realistically, all humans need is a pair of sneakers, a camel-back and an open field because like I said before, if a murderer can get jacked in jail, you shouldn’t need a gym to do less work.
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